My son had an "episode" where he was using a knife on a stick to put holes in his bedroom wall and I spanked him and he got a tiny bump om his head, and then stupid ass called the cops, and then when they came and were about to leave had to volunteer that he and I had an "altercation", so guess who goes to jail!
Charges were dropped, and Alex thinks he can say or do whatever he wants, and she never really backs me up, instead treats me like I'm the bad guy and challenges me in front of him over everything, so he doesn't obey worth a damn. Never a united front. I don't think, I KNOW that she's depressed and messed up.
She is so concerned about keeping the peace that her stupidity sets up nothing but wars, and she's too blind to see it.
So, now I'm broke, lost a job I was going to do, and electric is about to go off, and I'm hurt from a fall in jail. It's like she's out to undermine me, and wakes up off the couch just to bark out orders or bitch....
Meanwhile, I stay without sex or romance or tenderness or love, I am never approached, and then she wonders why I'm frustrated and bitch.
She is not a partner in any way, shape, or form, and never tries to work to find sane, mutual solutions...
So if anything comes my way I'd be stupid to pass it up, because to me I feel my life, or a big part of it, has been wasted waiting for her to wake up.
I rejected advances of some really attractive and nice women, but have a feeling if I bail that she will completely destroy Alex, and besides, I hope that if she can get past the medical issues and get some mental help and depression medicine she just might be okay, and I can have at least part of the person I married back, instead of a mean couch pillow and excuse creation expert....
When she gets sick and "needs" me or fucks up her pills, our lives, and hits the wall then she's like "I love you, I need you", and as soon as she's feeling better it's back to blaming me for everything and denying me any type of real emotional or physical love and satisfaction and comfort.
I don't go looking for it, and I should, but I won't pass up something I'd do if I was single anymore. I've passed up more pussy than any healthy unloved male should. She puts conditions on love and lovemaking, so fuck that.
Besides, I need hour or three long lovemaking sessions, not the quickie or to hear "I hurt" when any normal healthy woman wouldn't.
If she is keeping it from me and knows I need it she should be at least trying to make sure I get a little of what I need, and mostly that is a feeling of appreciation.
She needs to get in shape and fix herself, and her depression has made me depressed and I've lost much of the will to try anymore, because it seems so one sided.
At least WalMart wants to finish up and pay, ten grand but what the hell, I need it now.
Even a sunny day is sad to me. I want my happy spark back, but how do I find it in all these clouds?